I see an issue that seems to be happening more and more lately.  Cappers, or those that record images that are online without permission from the broadcaster/publisher.  They seem to be everywhere these days.

I know that they justify their actions by saying that the person shouldn’t put it out there if they don’t want it public, but is it really that simple?

We see “sex tapes” released by former lovers, webcam broadcasts put online by trusted “friends”, private intimate pictures posted to “revenge” sites.  Is this really the kind of society that we want to be?

If someone trusts you with their most personal moments and actions, then don’t we have some kind of responsibility to respect and honor that trust?

There are some really wonderful people out there that take a great risk in order to share a very special part of themselves with others, but they do so with the expectation that we enjoy that gift with some kind of restraint and consideration of their “worldwide” privacy.  When they end a broadcast, or send a picture, that should be kept within the limits of that action.  A broadcast is meant for the viewers that are there at that time, not for recording and continued personal or public use.  Enjoy it for the special gift that it is and don’t cheapen it by making it anything but that unique experience that it’s meant to be.  Just as pictures sent to you should be for you and you alone.

It’s simple really.  Just ask the broadcaster or senders permission to capture their image or share their picture.  If they say no then respect that and if you are too afraid to even ask, then your conscience is already telling you that you are wrong.

A little respect is all that it takes.  Without it, the world becomes a very cold and untrusting place.

Please, let’s make the world a better place and be good to each other.  Less “self” and more “all of us” in our thoughts and actions will go a long way.

Blessed Be

Okay, I’ll admit this is a pet peeve and more than likely most will disagree than agree.  That’s okay, you are free to do so.

What is it that brings out the “stupid little kid” in most people, mostly us guys, when watching web cams?

Fact of Life:  The person on the cam or the website is there for THEM, not you.  They don’t need to be directed, insulted, abused or subjected to your juvenile fantasies.

If they ask for your perversions because they want to hear them, then feel free to give them, but otherwise, sit back, be complimentary in a civilized way or just shut up completely, enjoy the show and be grateful that they are willing to share with you.

More than likely your fantasies of your High School teacher, your friend’s mom, the girl next door or the receptionist at your Dentist’s office don’t mean anything to them.

Have some respect for the person and then temper that with a little common sense.  I’ve seen everything from “Do you have a schoolgirl outfit?” to “You’re chunky but I’d fuck you anyway”.  I mean, seriously?  What the fuck is that all about?  Are you guys hoping that idiots turn the lady on or are you seriously just that dumb?

Sorry for the rant and thank you so much to the folks that share themselves with us in the hopes that it brings us pleasure and not the expectation that it brings them abuse. Come on, guys.  Let’s work a bit harder at being men and let those awkward teenage thoughts and actions stay in the past where they belong.

Blessed Be and have a great day.

Divorce, separation and/or infidelity seem to be the norm these days.  I don’t think it’s possible to live and not know at least one person or couple that haven’t experienced at least one of those.

In our grandparents time, it seems that people got together and stayed together, so why is it so different now?  There are many possible reasons.  Some are controllable and others are not.

There is a basic human need that drives us to do just about everything we do.  It is just as critical to our survival and success as water, food and air, but often overlooked.  It is the basic need to be accepted, needed and appreciated.

If any one of those three factors aren’t addressed in a relationship, we tend to look elsewhere to complete the chain.  We can be accepted as a partner, needed to sustain the mutual lifestyle, but if we aren’t also appreciated then we tend to look for something or someone that will fulfill that part of the chain.

Although the internet has made it much easier to find a temporary fix for our problems and allow us to ignore the real life situation that is affecting us, it is only a temporary fix and will often really make things worse.  In that fantasy world we will often be tempted to give up on what we have and pursue that make believe life or a “better” partner, only to find out that none of it is real and we have lost what was truly important to us.

Things weren’t really so different in our grandparents day other than the fact that it wasn’t so easy to find “outside” satisfaction, so I think that couples worked a bit harder at addressing any issues in their relationship.

So you may be asking yourself, “Okay, so let’s say you are right, how do we fix the relationship that we are in?”.  As with most important things in life, there is no easy answer and anything worth having is going to take a bit of work and effort.

One point I want to make perfectly clear right from the start is that not all relationships are salvageable, nor should they be.  My prime concern here is that if you are in an abusive relationship, DO NOT TRY TO FIX IT!  Run, don’t walk, to your nearest assistance center and get help.  If your partner is abusing you, all of the promises in the world won’t make them stop.  They need help and you need to be in a safe place while they seek that help.  Please, I can’t say this enough, you can not fix an abusive relationship without outside intervention, so please don’t try. Get out, Get help.

Okay, so for the rest of us, what do we do? How do we start repairing things?  There are several steps and things to work on.

COMMUNICATION:  All too often when everything falls apart, at least one party will say “Why didn’t you tell me this was happening?”.  We become complacent in our day to day lives and usually don’t go looking for problems, so when our partner suddenly tells us that they can’t live like that anymore and we suddenly feel like we have been hit with a bus.  Or it gets to the point where they go outside the relationship and find someone else that takes care of their needs and we suddenly have to deal with feelings of hurt and betrayal on top of everything else.  Take the time to talk.  Communicate on a regular basis.  Make your partner part of the solution and not just the source of the problem.

HONESTY:  You are not doing yourself or your partner any favors by not being totally honest about your feelings  I know that it’s hard sometimes and we tell ourselves that we don’t want to hurt their feelings when the truth is that we don’t want that uncomfortable confrontation.  Trust me, better to have that talk and maybe hurt their feelings for a bit than to suddenly hit them with the life changing news that you are done.  Anybody would much rather hear “Honey, I know you love me and I love you too but it’s important to me that we not only think it and feel it, but take the time to show it and celebrate it as well.” than “You were ignoring me so I started fucking your best friend and I want a divorce”.  Honesty, it’s the cornerstone of any successful relationship.

SHARED RESPONSIBILITY:  No situation is all our fault or all their fault but a combination of both.  We can’t blame ourselves completely as many often do.  They decide that it’s their fault because they are too skinny, too fat, not attractive enough, too attractive, have big feet,  ugly hair, pass too much gas, or snore.  Tons of reasons why it’s all our fault, and most, if not all, of them totally wrong.  The same is true of our partner.  It’s not all their fault either.  In any relationship, there is a constant cause and effect going on.  We do this and they respond by doing that.  Action - Reaction.  So when attempting to make things right, we have to be honest in what the problems really are and own our share of them but understand that it’s a shared responsibility and both parties need to honestly see their own issues and work on them.

APPRECIATION:  How many of you know that your partner loves you, hears it all the time and yet wonders why they never touch you?  This is very common and if they gave an honest reason it would be that “You already know I love you so what’s the problem?”.  The problem is that it’s the most neglected part of the chain.  Again, I think the internet makes it so easy to get our sexual gratification that we just take it for granted that our partner knows how we feel and since sex is supposed to be “exciting” we continually seek new partners, new conquests and new experiences.  Keep life interesting. Make the time and take the time to just be a couple and enjoy each other.  If there are kids, let them visit relatives or friends for the night.  Turn off the tv, the computer, the cell phone and the iPad.  Make the night all about just the two of you.  Whether you just sit and snuggle or have crazy sex on the dining room table, make it a special night just for the two of you,  Do this on a regular basis.  It’s important.

I could go on for hours but I’ll stop here for now.  I’ll leave you with one final thought:

WE NEVER STOP GROWING AS PEOPLE, EVEN AFTER WE BECOME PART OF A COUPLE.  THE SECRET IS THAT IF WE DON’T MAKE A CONSCIOUS ATTEMPT AT GROWING TOGETHER, WE WILL SURELY GROW APART.

Have a wonderful day, love each other completely. Blessed Be.

A newly found friend of mine, someone I’m coming to love and admire for the wonderful person that she is, went on a rant today.  To say that she was totally pissed off would be an understatement.  It was a little odd to see this gorgeous, loving, sensuous, intelligent woman be so outraged, but completely understandable.  She was ranting about child pornography and pedophilia.

The average life is full of trauma, drama and enough foul things that being abused simply shouldn’t be one of them.  Robbing a child of their innocence in an effort to fulfill some warped sense of erotica is just beyond contempt.

We, as a society and as human beings, have an obligation to protect and nurture those that are incapable of fending for themselves. If we witness it then we need to stop it.  If we know of it, then we need to report it.  If we are guilty of it, or have someone close to us that is, then we need to seek the help that is available.  It is a sickness that affects not only the life of the one performing the act, but also those of their victim and everyone that knows either.  It is a social cancer that is eating away at our society and our future.

Get involved and be informed.  Read up on the issue and it’s catastrophic effect on everyone that it touches.  Take a stand and break the chain.  Speak up for the little ones in the loud voice that they do not yet have.

Don’t let this be a reactive issue, make it a proactive one.  Make the choice to have a voice and let’s give our children the best possible chance at a bright future.

To my friend, Thank you.  It’s easy to put such issues in the back of our minds if nobody speaks of them.  Please, don’t let this be a silent epidemic. 

One voice can break the silence. One action can break the chain. One true heart can make a difference.  One caring adult can save tomorrow.  Be that one!

I remember, as a young boy, my exposure to sex was limited to finding my dad’s hidden stash of Playboy’s or playing doctor with the girl next door.  This led to a natural desire to develop the social graces that would allow me to meet and interact with members of the opposite sex.

Times have changed.  In this instant access internet society, the objects of our desires and fantasies are just a mouse click away.  It’s almost impossible to go through a normal day without being exposed to sex in one way or another, whether it be on a television show or commercial or our favorite erotic websites.

In my youth there were many taboos. Some, such as interracial sex, homosexual relations and recreational sex, were for the most part unfounded and based on social divisions, ignorance and/or prejudice.  Others however, such as child pornography, rape and incest were rooted in the fact that they were potentially life altering to one or all of the participants or could result in medical and/or psychological problems in the future.

My concern is that, although it’s good that some of the social taboos have been overcome, our lives have become so saturated with sex that we are losing the ability to interact with people on a normal basis.  It often seems that we have entered into a state of eternal puberty where we see others as being totally devoid of feelings, emotions or personalities and nothing more than a tool to be used to fulfill our sexual needs and desires.

As stated in an earlier post, my views are that of a heterosexual male and I would welcome views from others.

To illustrate my theory I’ll discuss cam sites, since there are so many and they offer a real time visual and verbal exchange.

I’ll see a woman go on cam and begin to chat.  It’s not important what she looks like, what’s she is wearing, how old she is or what her profile says, the comments start almost immediately.  “Show me those tits babe!”, “Is that pussy shaved?”, ” I want to fuck you in the ass and make you cry” and it goes on and on.  Judging by their pics and profiles, these are not little boys making these comments, they are grown men.  They have reduced the woman to nothing more than a “sperm bucket” within a matter of seconds.  If the woman is young then there is also the ever present pedophile fantasy and you hear “Are you daddy’s little girl? Be a good girl and come suck daddy’s cock”. (on a personal note, and I’m sorry if you think it’s harsh, but if you have fantasies about fucking little girls then you need help bro because that is just totally fucked up).

The lady can have a massive bookcase in the background and nobody will comment on her love of knowledge.  There can be a Harvard Degree on the wall and nobody will comment on her intellect.  There could be a half finished masterpiece on an easel behind her and nobody would mention her creativity and artistic ability and sadly there could be a young teenage girl in the room with her and nobody would comment on her being a mom but more likely ask if her daughter shows.

I’m not a prude.  I enjoy watching a beautiful woman as much as the next guy, but I never lose site of the fact that she is a person and what I am seeing on my monitor is just a very small part of who she is.  I don’t automatically assume that she is a “slut” or a “whore” any more than I would assume that every guy watching cheats on his wife and abuses his kids.  I believe that most people use the internet to relieve sexual tensions or enhance their real world sex life with their partner, which would have been accomplished with an extra-marital affair in the past.

If we are to continue to grow as a society, then we need to put some of that care and consideration, social graces if you will, back into the way we interact with others, regardless of whether it’s face to face or over the net.  Everyone has feelings and deserves to be treated as a person, not simply a flesh and blood sex toy to be used and abused as we wish.

If a woman chooses to share her beauty and charm over the internet on a free site, then it should be taken with a certain amount of gratitude and respect.  If you can only achieve orgasm by degrading a woman or living out some fantasy then go to a pay site where the women accept fulfilling that role as their way of making a living, otherwise sit back, enjoy the experience, be respectful and stroke to your little hearts content, but lets see if we can’t put a bit of humanity back into the way we interact with other human beings.

Finally, it’s been my experience that the most beautiful gift that a woman has to give is what’s inside that package that first attracts us.  When she chooses to share her thoughts and ideas, her hopes and her dreams, then, and only then, have we experienced the true beauty of a woman.

I welcome your thoughts on this, pro or con.  It’s a discussion that should be had and I think it’s important that we have our fun and enjoyment, but never at the expense of the dignity or feelings of another human being.  We are better than that and we need to start showing it.

Thanks for taking the time to read this. Have a great day. Blessed Be.

I’d like to start off by addressing attractions.  What is it that draws us towards another person?  Money?  Sex?  Looks? Actions?  Regardless of the answer you give, it will fit under one basic heading: “What’s In It For Me?”.

Whether the person is going to fuck you and rock your world or give you a sense of internal peace because they needed you and you were there, it’s all about “What’s In It For Me?”

Does this make us shallow?  No, I don’t think so.  I think that is more a matter of what it is that you hope to get out of any interaction.  Often times, we can have an attraction or interest simply because it enlightens us to our own appreciation of other people, their attributes and/or accomplishments and outside of that, have no desire to have any further, more in depth contact with the person.

For instance, I can admire a woman for her figure and not want to sleep with her.  It’s simply an appreciation for how she presents herself.  I am also secure enough with who I am that I can see another guy and think that he is handsome or that he has an impressive cock without having any desire to touch it, suck it or have it in my ass.  What do I get out of either one of those situations?  I get the satisfaction that I have the ability to see and appreciate other people’s attributes without jealousy or contempt, and in my eyes that makes me a more complete person.

Unfortunately, physical attraction enjoys a prominence that often cheats us out of meeting and enjoying a large part of the world’s population.

For most of us straight guys, show us a great pair of tits, an inviting ass and if the God’s are shining their light on us, a nice pussy, and we are butter.  The most macho of men will get down on all fours and grunt like a pig for just a small bit of exposure to a woman’s physical charms.  We rarely give any thought to whether or not the lady can speak in full sentences or needed help turning the camera on.  Who cares?  It’s sex!  Bring it on!

Physical attraction is the lure, the bait if you will, but it’s not the have all , end all of a relationship.  There has to be some substance, personality and character behind those looks.  You can fish with a $50 lure and a $500 rod and it will still be a shitty experience at best if you only fish in a toilet bowl.

If you see another person as nothing more than a sexual conquest then you are missing some of the best parts.  It’s nice to have a partner that can get you off but the truly remarkable experience comes from one that can also challenge your mind, touch your heart and empower your spirit.

Look for the hidden parts, (no, not what’s under the clothes), but what’s inside the person.  Embrace and appreciate WHO they are and not simply WHAT they are.

Stopping for now.  Time to reorganize my thoughts and hopefully start getting feedback from those of you reading.  Have a great day! Blessed Be.

Okay, first of all, for those of you that came here hoping to find pictures and stories that were all about sex, I’m sorry.  You may find those things here as the topic unfolds but it’s not the main focal point.

I am posting in hopes of opening a discussion that far exceeds simple physical interaction.  In this age of immediate internet access to a world of information that our parents and grandparents could not even have comprehended in their day, we are creating a generic, antiseptic world culture.

It seems that everyone is now reduced to searchable labels that focus on one particular aspect of their personality or appearance.  We are losing the ability to see and appreciate all of the complexities that make each person in the world unique and special.

I am a heterosexual male and for some odd reason most of my interactions are with females, which means that most of my comments and views will be focused on that male/female relationship.  That being said, I would welcome insights, views and comments from anybody, regardless of what your typical relationships may be.  This is all about people interacting with people and nobody will be excluded, so please feel free to contribute and share.

Finally, as stated, all viewpoints are welcome and solicited, in an effort to better understand each other, however, hateful posts, discriminatory posts and harassing posts, simply won’t be tolerated.  In short, keep it constructive, supportive and informative or keep it to yourself.

This is simply an introduction so I won’t go on for endless hours, but more will certainly follow.  Thanks for visiting and I hope we can all find out a bit more about ourselves as people when this is all said and done.  Blessed Be.